noun: extreme or irrational fear of spiders

It’s official. I’m calling Bacon out. Bacon is my mother (for anyone who didn’t know or hadn’t figured it out yet) and I think she’s abusing her motherly privilege here with some of these challenges. She’s deliberately calling me out on my childhood traumas for your amusement. I’m going to continue to allow her to do it – but I just wanted to put it out there that I know what she’s up to.

Now, back to the subject at hand. The scariest movie I’ve ever seen. I should start by saying, I really enjoy scary movies. I’m not into slasher/gore films. But a good suspense film, something that keeps you the edge of your seat is totally up my alley. My dad and I used to watch the “31 Days of Halloween” on ABC Family (which has been renamed FreeForm. Which is, perhaps, an entirely different topic for another day…). We’d eat sugar cookies and watch all the movies.

However, the fact that I watch any scary movies it a bit of a miracle after the experience I had at age 5. To be fair, we were at my grandparent’s house and I think all the cousins thought I was asleep when they decided to turn on the movie. But I wasn’t. And, guys, Arachnophobia is not a movie to mess around with. I mean, check this out:

Sure. Jeff Daniels and John Goodman, you’re thinking. They just called this a “thrillomedy” (how is that not a genre that caught fire?), this can not possibly be the stuff of nightmares.

Until you realize that the spiders go around killing people. There are deadly spiders coming out of the sink. Deadly Spiders in their popcorn. Deadly Spiders hunting them, dropping down from the ceiling on their unsuspecting prey. And I was five. And I was sitting in my grandparents old farm house. There was no chance this wasn’t going to scar me.

I slept in my brother’s room (thankfully he had a bunk bed and a very kind heart) for 3 years after that. Seriously. And even then, when I did move back into my own room I slept with a light on until I was a teen.

And, no, don’t bother inviting me on a trip to Venezuela. That’s just out of the question.

With great fear,

Oleander.

Alright, Bacon. Two can play this game. Tell us about your most embarrassing moment.