A word to the wise ain’t necessary — it’s the stupid ones who need the advice. ~Bill Cosby

Note: Wow. Bill Cosby? How freaking ironic is that? Or prophetic? Or pathetic, even?

So, anyway, Oleander has challenged me to discuss the best advice I have ever received.

But as a lifetime of imparted wisdom floods my mind, I don’t just relive the good advice, heck no. I see it all. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And so I share, in reverse order, because of the whole saving-the-best-for-last theory of blogging.

First, the UGLY:

Note: Okay, ugly may be overstating it. How about we settle for “not overly attractive“?

“Oh yes! I think that perming your bangs would be a really great idea. It would add volume, yes, and really highlight your forehead, er, eyes.”

Photographic Evidence circa 1993

Note: But that youthful skin! Sweet Holy Moses, I am a goddess.

Moving on to the BAD, which coincidentally is a large category including statements like, “You don’t need a contractor for that job,” to “Don’t worry, aged cheese doesn’t cause excess gas.” But a classic and now favorite BAD piece of advice came from my mom, who meant well, probably:

“Your cousin is only for visiting for the weekend. You should take her along to the dance and be friendly,” where she proceeded to make-out in the backseat of MY car with MY boyfriend. Good grief. High School.

Note: She is OFF the Christmas card list. Permanently.

And finally the GOOD, the BEST and most useful advice, seriously, from my dad:

“Shake what ya Mama gave ya.”

Note: Oh, wait. That was Fat Boy Slim, but it happens to be my second favorite piece of advice, seriously, but in a metaphoric way, obviously.

Back to Dad:

“First, you’ve got to get your facts.”

You see, I am occasionally prone to FREAKING OUT about things that aren’t really even things, yet. But maybe the things could escalate and turn into really big things, so I worry in advance and well, one thing leads to another until the thing has overtaken my thinking and it hasn’t even happened!

Note: I have re-read that paragraph several times and it makes perfect sense to me.

So, whenever I get my panties in a bunch or my arm out of socket (that can’t be right), I think of Dad and remind myself to get the facts FIRST, consider the options SECOND and make a rational and thought-out decision THIRD.

Thanks, Dad.

Note: And Dad, I miss you. I hope heaven is fun.

Okay Oleander, here’s your challenge: All of us here at baconandoleander are well-aware of your aversion to risk. So, do tell. What’s the craziest, riskiest, least law-biding thing you’ve ever done?